Phantom Academy
by phantomphan1992
Summary: What if everyone’s favorite Phantom opened a school of Phantoming? What chaos would ensue? Would Erik survive all the Phan Girl attacks? Well, lucky for you, this authoress has nothing better to do than create. So enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Summary: What if everyone's favorite Phantom opened a school of Phantoming? What chaos would ensue? Would Erik survive all the Phan Girl attacks? Well, lucky for you, this authoress has nothing better to do than create. So enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Phantom of the Opera

A/N: Warning: This was written out of pure boredom, because I'm a loser that has nothing better to do on a Friday night. So if insane teenage girls scare you, leave now!

Chapter One:

_Dear Monsieur/Mademoiselle,_

_We are please to inform you that you have passed our careful screening and have been accepted into our school. Your enrollment beings immediately. Please send your first month's tuition of 20,000 francs as soon as possible. We look forward to having you in our school._

_Sincerely,_

_Erik Destler _

_Dean of admissions_

The day this letter was received was the day an alleged "earthquake" occurred. However, our scientists have found the real disaster. We believe it was a large group of "Phantom Phanatics" screaming. This doesn't sound too disastrous, that is, if your name is _not _Erik Destler, who mistakenly enrolled this group of "Phantom Phans" in his academy for Phantoming and other Opera Ghastly things.

(Authoress randomly inserts herself) Ok, let's get on with this Phic already!

(Throat clears) Yes… of course. So, as the authoress said: On with the phic.

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Erik looked at his class in utter horror. In the front row, every female student was crammed on the tiny seats. A few of them, he noticed, we were wearing a t-shirt featuring himself with the words "Number One Phan" written across the front.

Turning to his assistant he whispered, "Just how careful was our screening?"

The woman shrugged. "I think if they applied, we accepted them."

"Oh, yes… veery careful!" he cried sarcastically and possibly a little too loudly.

Then, as he looked toward the back, he saw the male students, causing his panic to grow. Screaming like a little girl, he cried, "Oh, my gosh! They're all fop clones!"

The boys were trading lip-gloss… I mean, fluffing their hair… I mean… I mean…

Erik: (looks up at authoress) It's ok… everyone knows how fops are (glares at a random version of Raoul, who happens to be fluffing his pink mini skirt)…

Authoress: Ok, I know not _all_ Raouls are like that…

So to continue…

At that moment, Christine walked in. "Is this the right place? I'm looking for that one place that you go to buy things… uhh… what's it called?"

Authoress butts in again, saying, "A store?"

Christine stood for a few minutes thinking then said, "No, I don't think that's it… wait… what isn't it?" Then, shrugging her shoulders, she skipped merrily out the door with our pink-mini-skirt-wearing Raoul.

A/N: What did I tell you? Insane teenage girl with nothing better to do… well, review, but please don't flame.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N: So here's chapter two. And for my favorite reviewers, THANK YOU!

Chapter Two:

_Dear Mom and Dad,_

_School's great! So far, we've managed to make Erik scream like a girl fourteen times and threaten to punjab us all sixteen times. Plus we've learned how to terrorize a prima donna and the top ten ways to get what you want around the opera house. _

_If you get the chance, please send some rope. Next semester we're learning the art of punjabbing and I would like to get a head start on practicing._

_Love,_

_Hun_

Hun smiled as she read over her letter one last time before slipping it inside the envelope. This was a dream come true for her! She had always known that one day her obsession with the Phantom would pay off, but no one believed her. Of course, she had proved them all wrong.

Glancing at her watch, she noted that if she didn't hurry, she would be late for class, and she didn't want to lose her seat right in front of Erik.

However, when she walked through the door, she found none other that Erik for President in her usual chair.

"May I have my seat back, please," Hun said a little forcefully.

"I didn't see your name written on it!" Erik for President shot back.

"I've sat there every day so far, and you know it! Now give me my seat back!" Hun cried, grabbing Erik for President's arm and attempting to pull her off the seat. They both went flying, Erik for President's bagpipes going along for the ride.

"You idiot!" Erik for President cried. "You could have seriously damaged my bagpipes!"

Dusting off her kilt, she snatched them up and began playing them in Hun's ear. However, just then Erik came in the room, and the two girls raced for the seat in question, only to find a very nerdy fop clone sitting there.

(Authoress randomly inserts herself) Is it possible for a fop clone to be nerdy? (Happens to glance at pink-mini-skirt-wearing Raoul to find he had changed into jeans, which he had pulled up under his armpits) And yeees it is… (Disappears leaving Raoul behind, but definitely not on purpose… WHY ARE YOU STARING AT ME?).

Pushing his taped glasses up his nose, Raoul skipped over to an empty desk, tripping many times along the way.

"But he's not enrolled in my school!" Erik cried.

At this point, my dear friend Morvana walks into the room and says, "I think the authoress enrolled him…"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he cried, falling to his knees to add some more drama to the whole scene.

"Umm… Erik? I think you should teach the class now," Morvana interrupted his show.

"Ok, Miss Smarty-Pants. Why don't you try teaching the class?"

"I would, but I just love to watch you suffer up there."

Erik gave her an icy stare, but she returned it with an innocent smile.

He began the lesson, but in the middle of teaching the students how to deal with idiot managers, he paused and an evil grin spread across his face.

"Class, would you like a demonstration of a future lesson, so you can begin practicing?"

Without waiting for a response, he turned to "Miss Smarty-Pants" and asked her to come to the front to help. She obeyed, never letting the innocent smile fail in its presence.

"Stand here," he instructed, then left to look for something in his desk drawer. Hiding behind his back, he returned to his place in the front of the room.

"Morvana, will you please turn around?"

As she did so, he whipped out his lasso and attempted to punjab her. However, since she's my friend and incredibly smart, she pulled a hand-at-the-level-of-your-eye on him.

"Do you realize how impractical that is?" she grinned from ear to ear.

He growled at her, then continued his scheduled lesson.

Morvana ripped his mask off just for fun and began running.

"Give it back!" he cried.

"Fine," she shrugged and tossed it to Erik for President who tossed it to Hun who tossed it to the nerdy fop who tossed it to his nerdy clone who was attacked by Erik.

(Authoress inserts herself again) This next part is much too violent for anyone younger than my grandmother, so I'm just going to end this chapter here. Please review or you'll be Erik's next victim, and you might not be as smart as Morvana… I still need reviewers who are willing to be students… (Hint hint). Well, nighty night peoples!)


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Phantom of the Opera.

A/N: I don't know how often I'll be able to update this week since I do have school. But I'll try my hardest to update. Until then, enjoy!

Chapter Three:

_Dear Diary,_

_I think I'm going to go insane! These phan girls won't leave me the heck alone and the fop clones won't pay attention in class! Why did they even come here? And the parents are coming next week for Parent Night and we've barely covered the basics! I haven't even cast our first opera, because, to tell you the truth, all the males are incompetent, and I couldn't possibly make the audience suffer. I don't know where I'd be without Hun…_

Erik paused and looked up at the authoress. "Why am I saying this?"

"Because she was my first reviewer, therefore you must love her."

"Ahh…" he said all understandingly, because I'm the authoress and I control his every movement…MWAH!

_All I can say is, I WANT MY MOMMY!_

_Love, _

_Erik_

_P.S. What did I ever see in Christine? Today, she was hobbling around in the halls, and I happened to look down and her shoes were on the wrong feet. When I approached her about it, she told me that since Madame Giry went and started a ballet school, she just couldn't seem to get her shoes to fit correctly. _

(Authoress inserts herself) Tee hee… Erik doesn't know I stole his diary and let you guys read it… (Evil grin) Anyway, on with the story…

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Parent Night:

Well, things didn't go well that night… and that's putting it mildly. Erik was almost killed by Morvana and Tariel in the punjab demonstration. Then, during the musical portion of the night, Erik for President played the bagpipes in _his _ear and very loudly. Then the authoress played a very squeaky accompaniment to his performance of "Music of the Night"… but of course, she was just nervous and definitely not trying to annoy Erik (wink). Then The Magic Pickle Fairy or Tay's parents brought her a pet monkey that began wreaking havoc, which made Tay happy, but greatly upset Erik, who now hates monkeys.

By the end of the night, Erik was ready to go home and cry about it to his diary, which is what he did. However, he hid it from me when I wasn't looking, so I can't tell you what he wrote.

"Hey!" NeverAfter cried. "Why don't we find his diary for you? I'm sure I can gather a few others to help me out…"

Henriette and Soul of Power ROCKS OUT LOUD immediately volunteered, being in the general vicinity and all.

"I'll provide the gear," offered SOPROL.

"And I'll provide the wickedly awesome spy outfits," NeverAfter added.

"So that leaves the snacks to me!" Henriette grinned.

Later that night, the girls met in NeverAfter's room to change into the black _Phantom of the Opera_ tees and jeans. Then they ate a quick snack and began their quest for Erik's diary.

The three crept through the halls and up the stairs to the teacher's rooms and all the way down the hall to Erik's room. To their disappointment, they heard Erik composing.

(Authoress inserts herself) "I may be able to help."

"Really… how?"

"Well," Phantomphan said, leaning in to whisper her plan to the others. Heads were nodded and the authoress temporarily disappeared, returning with her cute doggy-pie with her. Tying a note to his collar, she taped a dog treat to the top of the doorframe and hid the girls with an invisibility cloak before disappearing.

Rusty began barking, and the spies heard Erik slam his hands on the piano before opening the door. Looking down at the dog, he saw the note and snatched it away. Then he slammed the door, causing the treat to fall. Rusty ate it greedily before running away.

A few moments later, Erik ran back out, dropping the note along the way. NeverAfter picked it up and read it while the other two began searching for the diary.

_Deer Arick,_

_I ned hulp! I cann't git mi sho on! Plees come as sun as u caan. _

_Luuv,_

_Christine_

'Wow,' thought NeverAfter, 'She spelled her name right.'

Erik's already disorganized room became a disaster as the girls tore it apart to find the perfect blackmail material. (Authoress grins)

"I found it!" Morvana, who appeared out of nowhere, cried.

"Let me see it," SOPROL snatched the book out or Morvana's hand.

"Haha! He sleeps with a night light!" she laughed as she read.

The others leaned over her shoulder to see the diary.

"Ahh! Here's what we're looking for."

(Authoress inserts herself and her dog) Well, that's all for tonight. It's really better this way… at least this way, I can update sooner, because I have something. So nighty night and sweet reviews… I mean dreams.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own _Phantom of the Opera_; however, I do own numerable related products…

A/N: Sorry it took so long… Bon appetite!

Chapter Four:

_Dear Diary,_

_If I could have one wish, I would have never opened this school. Unfortunately, that wish will never come true… But I won't back out! I'm going to prove to those students that I can be as scary as they can… I think… I hope… Okay, I'm going to go hug my stuffed bunny now… maybe he'll give me some courage._

_Love,_

_Erik_

(Authoress inserts herself to aww at Erik's cuteness…)

The spies and Morvana looked at each other in silence, and then burst out laughing.

Once their laughter had died down and reduced to random giggling fits, NeverAfter asked, "So what should we do to terrorize Erik?"

"We could put his underwear on the flagpole…" Henriette suggested.

"Naw," Morvana said," that's too cliché. I say we make his stuffed bunny talk… and he won't be saying just any thing. No he'll be…" At this point, the authoress decided that you didn't really need to know the rest of the plan until it was carried out. Mwah!

So anyway, after a few _uh-huh_'sand _good idea_'s, and a round of _mwah ha_'s, the girls began to plot for the ultimate terror for Erik.

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As Erik stood at the front of the room teaching, the door burst open and woman walked in.

"George! Georgiekins!" she called.

"Who's George," Erik inquired.

"You are, silly goose!" she cried as she threw her arms around him and squeezed him to the point where he actually turned purple.

"Who… are… _you_?" he managed to choke out.

"I'm your substitute mommy!"

"Ouch!" he tripped as tried to run away from her. "I think I have a boo boo… I mean owie… I mean I think I scraped my knee!"

"Aww… want substitute mommy to kiss your boo boo?"

"Yes please," he sobbed.

"It's going to be okay George," Mominator said in a soothing voice.

"After school, can we make cookies?"

"Sure, Georgiekins…"

"WHEE!" Erik cried, standing up and dancing, similar to the dancing the authoress' PE coach was doing today, and let me tell you, it ain't pretty...

(Authoress randomly inserts herself) "Hem HEM!" (Authoress disappears, leaving an ENTIRE crate of rotten tomatoes.)

The confuzzled fops sat in silence, however, the phan girls realized where the authoress was going with the tomatoes, and began throwing them at Erik, who unfortunately stepped on one and went sailing through the air, landing on top of our (cough) favorite fop.

"EEEK!" Raoul screamed.

Erik stood up and brushed off his swishy cape, blushing deeply. Raoul giggled, and then turned to Hun who was sitting behind him.

"I think he likes me…"

(Awkward silence)

"Okay," Erik finally broke it. "On with the lesson."

So the rest of class continued uneventfully. However, later that night… well, let's just say things became very… interesting.

Erik was sitting alone, composing a great masterpiece, when there was a knock upon his door. Sighing, he left "Insignificant Leaf" to answer the door.

"Hello roomie!" Raoul shouted when Erik answered the door. The only thing that kept him from slamming the door in the foppish… fop's face was… well… the authoress.

"What do you mean 'roomie'?" Erik demanded angrily.

Giggling, Raoul answered. "I'm your new roomie, silly!"

Erik looked up at the authoress, who was whistling and looking around innocently.

"What? I didn't do it!" she exclaimed.

Erik (cough stupidly cough) accepted this answer and turned around to face the fop, who was deciding where his Backstreet Boys poster should go.

"You think it would look good here, next to my N'SYNC poster?" he questioned.

"I know the perfect place for this poster," Erik replied, grabbing it from Raoul and ripping it in half before stuffing it in the trash.

"EEK!" Raoul shrieked. "That's, like, my favorite poster!"

Ignoring his foppishness, Erik turned and stormed back to his composition. He became so engrossed in his work that by the time he looked away, Raoul had completely redone the place. Erik gazed in horror at the pink frilly curtains and pink frilly bedding. On the BUNK BED?

This was all too much. He tracked down the fop, who was talking on the phone.

"Oh, my GAWD! This place is, like, so great… you should come check it out… Oh, I know! How about we make it a sleep over!"

"No way!" Erik cried, snatching the phone from Raoul's hands. "I will not permit you to have a sleep over in MY HOUSE!"

"Well," Raoul said quietly, "Technically this isn't a _house_…"

The two were interrupted by someone at the door. Erik answered to a large group of Phan Girls.

"Is this where the show is?" The Magic Pickle Fairy (Tay) asked.

"What show!" Erik angrily demanded.

"See? I _told_ you phantomphan wouldn't be stupid enough to have it here." Tay said, turning toward the nerdy fop.

Erik looked up at the ceiling, expecting to find the authoress. However, what he didn't know is that she wasn't at her usual post. Instead, she was busy collecting tickets for the show… I mean… baking cookies!

The phan girls stole away at this point, and Erik remain clueless thanks to the authoress' quick thinking.

He slammed the door closed and directly after, there was another knock.

"What the he… hey Christine," he said, turning into a drooling puppy.

"Is Raoul here?" she asked timidly. Why timidly? Because that's how she is, duh!

"I'm in here!" he called, wiping his hands on his pink floral apron.

"… I don't even want to know," Erik said, turning away and going back to his composition. However, he found a surprise when he reached his organ. His music had been completely destroyed. There was marker all over the pages!

How could this have happened?

_Flashback: _

"_Hey Erik!" Raoul called, "Can I color?"_

"_I don't care. Just leave me be!"_

"_Do you have any paper?"_

"_It's on the table…" _

_End of Flashback:_

That answered his question. That's where he had put his finished acts. Now he'd lost years of work because of this FOP! His anger quickly boiled and he exploded.

"RAOUL!" he screamed.

"Yes?" Raoul said blinking innocently.

"What do you call THIS?"

"It's a butterfly on top of a flower, silly."

"You. Colored. On. My. Life's. WORK!" Erik was hysterical as he said this.

"Oopsies…"

"Oh, ho ho… you don't know the MEANING of that word, but don't worry my dear fop. I shall teach you…"

"Raoul?" Christine called timidly. "It's starting to burn!"

"Coming!" he replied, then turned to Erik. "I need to finish Christine's highlights…" he explained before he ran away.

Erik sighed and went to salvage what he could of his now ruined masterpiece.

A few hours later, Raoul came out and announced that Christine would be coming in any moment.

She stepped out (can you believe it?) timidly and twirled around. Erik was speechless… Christine looked truly amazing. Her hair had been straightened and cut and highlights had been added. She was wearing a crimson red halter dress with black, strappy high heels. She was even wearing makeup!

"Did he do this?" Erik asked in amazement.

"Uhh… yeah," she replied, amazingly, in a very timid voice.

"Dang it!" Erik cried, "Now who will I use for punjab practice?"

The authoress, out of an act of kindness, threw a (hem hem) completely random fop doll at him, and then disappeared.

So everyone was happy and the fop surprisingly lived… isn't that just peachy?

A/N: Sorry if I didn't get you in this chapter, but it kind of got away from me, and I figured you guys deserved an update. I hope you enjoyed it and please review!


	5. Filler Chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own Phantom of the Opera. I also do not own the list making thing. That belongs to Meg Cabot.

A/N: Here's a filler chapter inspired by Halloween/Meg Cabot… enjoy!

Top Ten Scariest Things According to Erik Destler

10. Ghosts: Even to fellow ghosts, we're scary… Why else is no place ever haunted by more than one ghost… for the most part anyway…

9. Cooties: Seriously. Who wants cooties? They make you feel all gushy inside. Plus when you get them you have to get like 20 shots… oh, wait… that's rabies. Still… cooties are scary.

8. Bugs: They're creepy and crawly and they climb inside your clothes at night and then when you put them on, you get bitten… or at least I do, although living underground might have something to do with the fact that this happens almost daily…

7. Pink Frilly Curtains: So ominous… My once tasteful lair has been turned into a mean, pink, Phantom eating machine!

6. Witches: Creepy laughs, warts, green skin, flying on brooms (actually, that's kind of cool…) and casting spells… shudders Unless, of course, it's Glinda the Good… drools on Glinda pinup

5. Christine if She Ever Reads the Above: I'm supposed to be obsessed with _her_, not Glinda…

4: Butterflies: They don't seem scary, but after seeing Raoul dressed as one…

3. Fops: Too… foppish… for my taste…

2. The authoress: She controls my every move… That's slightly creepy…

1. PHAN GIRLS!: Need I say more?


	6. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own Phantom of the Opera.

A/N: You can thank Megan and Jordan for this chapter… It's pretty much their ideas and my writing.

Chapter Five:

Erik for President sighed. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't get it right.

"Okay," she told herself. "This is the last straw!" She furiously grabbed the bowl and began mixing just as furiously. Then she carefully poured the cake batter into the pan. She popped the gooey mess in the oven and then began practicing playing "Happy Birthday" on her bagpipes in front of her Erik poster. It wasn't easy throwing a surprise birthday party for a Phantom… especially when no one is really sure _when _his birthday is…

Oh, well… She would throw the party and then Erik would like her the best. Right?

**RIGHT?**

Anyway, as it turns out, the party, much to the surprise of everyone was a success. There were minimal injuries (well, we can't all control SOME peoples' urges to punjab the nerdy fop…), and Erik even got the new punjab he had been wanting for some time now, thanks to the wonderful SOPROL. And you know, for someone named LonesomeGurlAngelofDeath, she was quite the chatterbox…

So pretty normal, right? That is, until the authoress' friend decided to pop in…

"Hey!" Megan cried defensively, "At least I brought a gift… Now, who's the Phantom?"

The entire party stood, gaping, with the exception of Raoul and erick'slover, who were trying to see who could fit more marshmallows inside the Phantom piñata, at a very confused Megan.

"How can you call yourself a phan?" LonesomeGurlAngelofDeath finally broke the unbearable silence with her question.

"I don't." Megan said simply.

A chorus of gasps erupted throughout the room before everyone went back to their cake. Erik stepped forward.

"Let's see," Megan said to herself, "Mask, cape, punjab lasso… in hand. Yup, that's Erik." She thrust the present in his hands.

Excitedly, he began opening it. Paper began flying everywhere.

"Okay," Megan said, "I know I did not use _that _much paper to wrap it…"

"It" was a book… manga, to be exact.

Erik gave Megan a puzzled look and so she tried to explain it to him.

"This kind is pretty much all really really pretty girls and really really pretty boys like Raoul thinks he is."

"Ah…" Erik seemed to understand. He began reading it, but after about the third page, he dropped the book and began screaming bloody murder.

Raoul picked it up and began examining it. He began to have random giggling fits, which worried Megan.

"You do know what that is…"

"Yeah, of course," he replied.

"So you DO realize that it's an R/C slash… that's a relief."

"Uhh… what does that mean?" Raoul questioned.

"It means that _that_," Megan pointed at the book, "Is Erik, and _this,_" she moved her finger, "Is you."

"Oh… I thought that was a girl… I mean, with that hair…" he paused, thinking, and then began to frantically search his… hem hem… man bag. "Oh, my GAWD!" Megan began to become hopeful that Raoul understood, only to have her hopes crushed when Raoul uttered the next part, "I DO have a zit!"

Megan was about to slap her forehead, then thought better of it and slapped Raoul across the face. Raoul was unfazed and began reading again.

"Major sweat drop!" Megan cried and joined Erik in screaming bloody murder.

As if this weren't enough, Jordan also had to drop by.

"Hey!" Evanesce said, then proceeded to introduce herself.

"Did you know that a snail can crawl across the blade of a knife without getting cut?" Jordan said.

A few frightened guests backed away, but a dazed Christine decided that she must follow Jordan around to gain more of this knowledge.

"Where do you _learn _these things?" Christine was practically drooling, although this isn't really anything new.

Jordan looked skyward and then back to the partygoers around her. "IT'S DEFINITELY NOT THE ALIENS!" she screeched…

(Guests give her weird looks)

"I mean the library!"

"Oh…" Christine said. "And the library is a…"

"Aye!" Jordan exclaimed. She then proceeded to disappear, but much to her dismay, so did Christine.

At that moment, dark-hearted rose made her entrance.

"My favorite stalker! You have no idea how happy I am to see a _normal _person here" the authoress exclaimed, hugging dark-hearted rose.

"And how's my favorite stalkee?"

"Very frightened," she said, staring at Megan.

"Hey," Jordan said, popping in yet again, "Did you know that toilet paper was invented in China in the year AD 1391 with each sheet measuring two feet by four feet?"

"No, and I don't care," Tariel answered.

"Suit yourself," Jordan shrugged and disappeared.

So just for fun, the authoress decided that Morvana should pop in…

"Hello, dearies!" she cried, shoving her present into the now calm Erik's hands.

"Whee! Another one!" he squealed girlishly. He tore through the bag and pulled out a beautiful new Punjab lasso.

"Wow… such craftsmanship…" he never got to finish what he was saying because right about then, the lasso turned on him. Erik's eyes widened.

"You know," Morvana said, finally releasing the mechanical grip on his neck, "When dealing with Punjabs, always keep your hand at the level of your eyes."

Erik made one of those weird mocking faces.

"Hokay then…"

A/N: That's all I feel like doing for now… And I know, I still have four of you to write in, but I'll try to give you a big part in the next chapter. If you have any ideas, please share them in your, dare I say it, REVIEWS!

Lotsa love!

phantomphan1992


	7. Chapter 6: Turkey Day

Disclaimer: I do not own Phantom of the Opera… I own nothing… except for these ideas (shifty eyes) OK! I don't even own the ideas… they belong to Midori and Hikari-no-Sora who is affectionately known as Megan.

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews…I was touched. (sniffles) Oh, and for those of you wondering, Jordan and Megan are my friends at school that gave me the ideas for the last chapter, so I expect you all to love them and hug them and send them lotsa candy… :-P

Enjoy this Thanksgiving inspired chapter and be on the lookout for a Christmas inspired one soon!

Chapter Six:

The school was in chaos. Pigs were running loose. The students were busy chasing Raoul the Turkey. The authoress was sitting on her wonderful throne of authoressness… or her metal folding chair…The only calm was found with Megan and Erik, who were reading.

Erik had been ranting earlier about the fact that no one would get anywhere chasing Raoul and was now reading _How to Punjab a Fop in a Turkey Costume. _Megan was just… well… being Megan.

"Flip…" Megan muttered.

BrideofthePhantom was leading the hunt.

"Come on! We can get this fop!" she tried to motivate the group. "Hey!" she cried, approaching Erik and Megan. "Why aren't you guys helping?"

"Reading…" they said in unison.

"Really? Whaccha reading?" she asked Megan.

"IT'S NOT AN ERIK/RAOUL IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE THINKING!" Megan cried.

The entire room was still until Erik broke it with his blood-curdling scream.

BrideofthePhantom began slowly backing away. She ran to the authoress.

"And what are you doing, missy?"

"I'm writing this, so if I stop, so does this story."

BrideofthePhantom seemed to accept this and went back to the fop hunt.

"Flip…"

Since all seemed too still, the authoress brought Jordan in.

"Peegy!" Jordan cried.

"What?" Megan asked with a confused look on her face.

"Peegy!" Jordan cried again, pointing to one of the pigs running amuck.

"Ho-kay…" Megan said.

"PEEGY!" Jordan screeched and began chasing the pigs around.

Erik, having finished his book, attempted to take over the hunt. But BrideofthePhantom wouldn't stand for it.

"I'm in charge here! You can do it my way, or you can go away."

"Fine! Maybe I'll go make mashed potatoes and jello!" he cried and stormed away.

"Make sure it's cherry!" Elise (when did she get here?) shouted to him.

"Will do…"

"Flip…"

"PEEGY!" Jordan cried, pointing to Erik.

Confused, he looked behind him. There was no one there.

"Me?" he asked, pointing to himself.

Jordan nodded and said, "Peegy!"

"I'm not a pig!" Erik cried.

"I object!" the authoress exclaimed. She disappeared just as Erik pulled out his punjab…

"Peegy!" Jordan cried, pouncing on Erik.

"What the f..."

"Peegy!" Jordan grabbed the pig from Erik's back and skipped off.

"How come she gets to do that?" dark-hearted rose said, her face assuming and evil grin.

"No. Way!"

Erik began running, and dark-hearted rose began chasing him.

"But someone needs to make the mashed potatoes and cherry jello!" the authoress whined.

"I'll do it!" Elise said.

"Yay!"

"Flip…"

"We caught him!" BrideofthePhantom cried!

"Please! NO!" Raoul screamed.

"Too bad, turkey boy! You're dead meat… Get it? Dead meat? Haha!"

This, unfortunately, gave Raoul the chance to escape and shed his turkey costume.

Suddenly, a random announcer guy appeared.

"Next week on PHANTOM ACADEMY: magic hats, mashed potato men, detectives… What chaos can ensue? Tune in next week to find out!"

A/N: All my other ideas are for the next chapter, so enjoy! And for kloolk, laughing hermit. erick'slover, and Cassiopeia Lily, if you have any ideas or preferences for your character, please let me know. So don't forget to review!


	8. Chapter 7: Frosty the Mashed Potato Man

Disclaimer: Don't try this at home, children! Oh, and I do not own Phantom of the Opera. These ideas are courtesy of Midori (a.k.a. Megan).

A/N: Sorry it took so long! I was going to get this out the day after Thanksgiving, but I forgot and then there was this unfortunate incident and in short, I couldn't get on to update. Enough about me… Bon Appetite and Happy Holidays!

The day after Thanksgiving:

"So what are we going to do with the leftovers?" Elise questioned.

"All we had was mashed potatoes and cherry jello…"

"I'll take the jello… I can definitely find uses for this stuff…" Megan said.

"Okay, so that leaves mashed potatoes… I say we cover Erik in this stuff and then put this hat on him and call him Erik the mashed potato man!" Jordan cried.

"Okay," Everyone nodded in agreement.

"But will he cooperate?" Elise asked.

"Don't worry," the authoress said, "I'll make him cooperate." (evil grin)

The phans set to work covering him in the gooey mess.

"These mashed potatoes are so creamy…" the authoress cooed.

"Mary mashed them," Elise replied.

Once they were done, Jordan placed the hat on top. Erik didn't budge.

"It's not working!" Megan and the authoress cried.

"But at the store they said it was a magical hat… I want my money back!" Jordan demanded. Someone handed her two quarters. "Yay!"

"Quick!" Megan cried. "Change the nose! It should be a carrot, not a potato!"

Elise quickly swapped the two. Erik still didn't move.

"It's still not working!" Megan and the authoress cried again.

At that moment, however, Erik took a step forward.

"Yay! It's working!"

Everyone began cheering.

"Wait," the authoress paused. "Snowmen are satanic!" She dashed toward her fort of authoressness.

In all their dancing, the phans didn't notice that Erik was bleeding.

"No!" they bawled. "Frosty's dead!"

"YES!" the authoress cried. "Sweet victory!"

"Wait…" Jordan said, approaching the mess. She took a sample of the "blood" and stuck her finger in her mouth. "It's just jello… and cherry: my favorite!"

Raoul jumped out in a hot pink detective's outfit. "This looks like a job for: Raoul, private J!"

"Huh?"

"It sounds cooler… LEAVE ME ALO-ONE!"

Raoul began to investigate the scene. He drew the chalk outline. He collected the evidence. He did everything you see in the movies, but in a hot pink mini skirt.

Then he began questioning the suspects.

"Hey," Megan said, "I can make this case really easy for you…" and with that, she pulled out the bowl of jello and smashed it in his face. "I'm the jello fairy!"

"Mmm…" he said, "Cherry… my favorite!"

He skipped away, his skirt flying up as well, revealing a certain pair of pink, frilly underwear.

(Sweat drop) (Twitch) "I didn't need to see that."

She ran over to phantomphan in her fort of authoressness. "Can I join you?"

"Yup."

Megan hopped into the fort.

"Dark chocolate?" the authoress offered.

Megan wrinkled her nose.

"Suit yourself," the authoress shrugged and popped another piece in her mouth.

"Fro-osty… Fro-osty…" the Phangirls began to chant.

"HOLD ME!" the authoress cried.

"But I don't like you like that," Megan replied.

The authoress gave Megan an I-know-that-you-idiot look and said, "But I'm scared!"

"Oh, fine," Megan rolled her eyes.

Why did it appear as if there were a huge rain cloud over Erik… after all, this was inside the school, right?

It began raining and all the mashed potatoes and jello washed off.

"YES!" the authoress began jumping up and down excitedly. "Frosty's gone!"

The Grim Phantasm- FEAR walked past everyone with her three ADORABLE cats which caused everyone to leave Erik standing off the side while they tried to pet the kitties.

"PEEGY!" Jordan squealed, hugging her pig.

A/N: Sorry this chapter is really late and really short. There's one more holiday chapter (New Years) and then we go back to regular classes. Well, as regular as the classes get… Please review!


	9. Chapter 8: Happy belated New Year!

Disclaimer: I do not own Phantom of the Opera.

A/N: Sorry it's late! I know I said this was the last chapter before we go back to regular classes, but I came up with an idea for another one before the regular classes resume.

Chapter Eight:

_New Years Eve_

Everyone had gathered in the cafeteria for a huge celebration. The dance committee had hung streamers and balloons from the ceiling, and there were gold-ish plastic tablecloths draped over the regular lunch tables. At each place, there was some of the schools finest china (okay, so it was only paper plates, but they were SHINY!) and crystal champagne glasses (maybe not real crystal… OKAY, so they were plastic, but the silverware was real… real plastic, that is). On a table in the center of the room, there was a lovely array of cheeses (Authoress inserts herself here: Wha? Where?) and crackers. The giant punch bowl was filled with a tangy mixture of pineapple juice and Sprite.

It actually looked like this was going to be a normal, non-torturous party… If only looks weren't deceiving.

×**0**×**♥**×**0**×

Music blared from the speakers as the authoress and her friend made their (fashionably) late entrance to the party. They located Raoul, who was sporting a semi-normal but still foppish outfit, by the refreshment table. The authoress and Megan began talking to him while Jordan quietly approached the punch bowl. She pulled a flask out of her sweater and opened it.

"What are you doing?" Morvana asked.

"Don't tell anyone, but I'm spiking the punch," Jordan replied.

"With what?" Morvana took the flask, "Sprite?"

"So?" Jordan cried.

"So there's already Sprite in the punch…"

"Curses! Someone beat me to it!"

"Umm… Okay?"

"You know," the authoress turned to Raoul, "I think I can make this more interesting."

Suddenly, about ten dark figures fell from Somewhere Above.

"Why did you capitalize that?" queried Megan.

"For fun," the authoress replied.

So the figures stood up and began brushing themselves off. The students and staff caught a sudden whiff of what smelled like death.

"Oh, my gosh!" Cold Toenails cried. "It's Leroux Erik!"

"Or Lerik," Hailie added.

Kay Erik began to speak, and the whole school, with the exception of Megan who was obliviously reading anime, stopped its activities to listen.

"Ooo…" the phan girls began cooing after he was done.

"It's so Kerik," Hun commented.

A group of phan girls decided it would be fun to try to get Lon Chaney's Erik to talk, to no avail. Another group began following Crawford Erik (otherwise known as Crawferik) and telling him jokes just to hear his awesomely awesome Phantom laugh. A few people were staring at Claude Rains' Phantom, wondering what had caused his deformities (they later found out it was acid, if you were wondering).

×**0**×**♥**×**0**×

Midnight was approaching. Everyone gathered around the big screen TV that suddenly appeared to watch the ball drop in New York. They began counting along.

"5! 4! 3! 2! 1! HAPPY NEW YEAR!" everyone shouted.

All the phan girls crowded around the Erik of her choice and attempted to kiss him.

Jordan's jaw dropped and she dropped Piggy to point. Piggy began mimicking her.

Three Raoul phans attempted to kiss their idol.

"I'm sorry," Raoul said, "My heart belongs to another."

"Who?" the girls asked, obviously ready to murder whoever had stolen his heart.

"Her," Raoul said, pointing at Megan, who was obliviously reading.

"EEK!" she cried, looking up.

At 12:01, Jordan bent down to pick up Piggy. "I'm sawee Peegy!" she cried.

×**0**×**♥**×**0**×

It was nearing the end of this all night party when Raoul decided to spice up the party.

"Macarena!"

(Silence)

"Conga!" Jordan cried.

Everyone formed a circle around Gerik (except Raoul, who was pouting) and began conga-ing.

"Da da da da da! POW!" They kicked on cue.

"Ow!"

Hey! That rhymed!

"Da da da da da! POW!" (kick)

"Hey! There's someone down here!" Erik cried, but no one heard him because at that moment Piggy joined the conga line.

"Hey, I have an idea," Jordan said. "Let's put Raoul in the middle."

Everyone seemed to agree, and the fop was put in the center of the group.

"Wait! We need spike shoes on."

"WHAT?" Raoul squeaked.

×**0**×**♥**×**0**×

A/N: Okay, I'm just going to end it there because I don't want to have to raise the rating. : P

If I haven't included you recently, let me know. I seemed to have misplaced my list, so if you would let me know, I'd greatly appreciate it.


	10. Chapter 9: Party Time!

Disclaimer: I do not own Phantom of the Opera.

A/N: AGH! Sorry this is so late! I don't have a short attention span or anything… LOOK! Something shiny! And at least it's not February… yet.

Chapter 8.5:

January 2, 2007

_To my dearest pupils,_

_You are invited to attend Phantom Academy's first annual Undecking-of-the-Halls Ceremony to take place later this evening. This is a way to allow you to get to know your fellow students even better. _

_The festivities will begin at 6:00 P.M. and continue until the halls are completely devoid of any decoration and the cookies and hot chocolate are gone. _

_Your Obedient Mentor and Angel,_

_Erik_

×**0**×**♥**×**0**×

The hallways were filled with students in matching Phantom outfits (standard cleaning uniform). Erik appeared in his rather ravishing- hot pink?- phantom outfit.

"Wait," the authoress paused mid-paragraph. "How did this happen?"

"Well," Raoul began to answer.

"Oh, no. This can't be good…"

"There was this incident at Bath and Body Works. I really really needed someone's opinion on what scent to get, and Erik happened to be next door getting his nails done, so I asked him to help me. I think I accidentally got him high…" Raoul looked worried. "I hope no one is mad…"

A few phangirls started to answer, but Erik came up and gave them each a kiss. He skipped away, giddy with giddiness.

dark-hearted rose turned to Raoul. "I think you're safe." Then she ran off to see if Erik would kiss her too.

"Meh, I have a better plan," Morvana mumbled to herself, and began taking down the decorative lights from the nearest window.

Erik ran up to Megan and attempted to kiss her, but Raoul intercepted.

"Stay away from my love!" he cried.

"Sheesh!" Megan exclaimed. She looked skyward. "Why me?"

×**0**×**♥**×**0**×

The once festive halls had been restored to their former plainness. Erik, who had been prancing around in his hot pink Phantom cloak, was beginning to regain some sense.

"Hey," Megan thought aloud, "If Jordan gets a piggy, why can't I have a foxy?"

The authoress, who happened to overhear, said, "But you can. Don't you remember who I am and the vastness of my powers?" And with that said, she began pulling objects out of her bedazzled Phantom cloak.

"Kitty… Rusty…" The authoress paused to hug her golden retriever.

"Hem hem!"

"Oh, right. …Foxy!"

"Yay!" Megan squeed.

NeverAfter announced, "I have presents for everyone: Phantom plushies!"

Everyone cheered, included Erik, who, still being just a tad bit loopy, was the first one in line.

"I've always wanted one of these!" he squealed joyfully.

(Awkward silence)

Morvana, finally ready to carry out her evil plan, snuck up behind Erik with some mistletoe and kissed him on what would be lips if they were there.

"Heh…" he giggled girlishly.

"We need some more festive music," Erik for President declared, whacking the CD player. She began playing her wonderful bagpipes, and no one shut her up because she was kicking some serious butt on them.

When her jovial tune ended, and NeverAfter had finished distributing her plushies, which everyone loved, Erik passed out. Everyone rushed to see if their kiss would be the one to awake the prince, except phantom-jedi1, who had planned for this to happen all along. Why? Well, for fun of course.

"That's not very nice fun," Jordan peeped.

"Well, you're not my mother so you can't tell me to play nice!" phantom-jedi1 retorted.

"Fair enough."

"I know what you're saying," the authoress said, "You want Erik to wake up. But if he does, we can't torture him. Oh, and the chapter would end."

First, Jojo, applied lip gloss- lots and lots of lip gloss. While Jojo was working on that, NeverAfter worked to curl his one lock of hair. PhantomoftheBasket painted his nails hot pink to match his cape. Once the make over was complete, the students stood back to admire their work.

Erik began to stir, so the majority of the phans went back to pretending to un-decorate. A few stayed and began fanning him. Someone shouted a command to the group to get him a glass of water. Erik sat up and moaned.

"Where am I?" he asked.

"You're at the first annual "Undecking-of-the-Halls Ceremony"." phantom-jedi1 said, then, after receiving a look, added, "It was your idea. Who else would be stupid enough to think of something like that?"

"Well, I must have been high or something!" Raoul made a quick exit. "Now everyone, GET OUT!"

A stampede rushed to the door. Once in the hall, Jojo asked, "How will we know when he looks in a mirror?"

"Oh, you'll know," phantom-jedi1 replied.

The students filed to their dorms, where they began to ready themselves for bed. Just as the last of the lights had gone off, a scream caused every single one to be turned back on.

"He looked…" phantom-jedi1 commented across the room to Jojo, who nodded in confirmation.

Madame Giry strode down the hall, knocking on every door calling, "Lights out!"

×**0**×**♥**×**0**×

A/N: Again, if you haven't been included in a while, tell me because I lost my list. Review peoples! It's not that hard. Just press the shiny review button and type whatever the heck you feel like.


	11. Contest Time!

Contest time!

I need some ideas for this story, and I figured a contest would be a good way to get some help.

Submit your ideas and the person with the best idea wins a special prize: the chance to write their own chapter!

See my myspace blog for more details (go to the link in my profile and from there to my blog).

The contest closes on February 11, 2007 at 11:59 P.M. (Central Time).

Good luck, and may the best idea win!

Want to be a judge? Let me know soon. I'm accepting the first three offers!


	12. The Contest Is Over!

Greetings readers, reviewers, and aliens!

Umm… anyway, so the contest _has _closed… finally. As soon as the results are in, I'll let you guys know.

Thank you so much to the four wonderful judges and those of you who submitted your ideas!

Lots of love,

phantomphan1992


	13. The results are in and the winner is

Yay! The contest results are finally in…

The winner is, get ready for this…

COLD TOENAILS!

By the way, happy 16th birthday CT.  Watch out world… CT's going behind the wheel… 

I bet you're all looking forward to her chapter… I know I am.


	14. Chapter 10: Cold Toenail

Uh, hello everyone. You might not know this, but this is not phantomphan1992 writing this right now. Nope, this is Cold Toenails, but feel free to call me CT or Lori or Loretta Jane. Now I know this isn't going to be as good as Moll Doll's, but I shall attempt so humor me people. This is Phantom of the Opera, soap opera style. Ok, on with the chapter.

A dramatic and semi depressing song begins to play. Erik walked up to Cassiopeia Lilly, who has no idea of his presence. Her attention is on the little squirrel scampering about outside. "Squirrels can be so gay sometimes," she thought. As she thought this, Erik walked up behind her and placed his hands near her neck. Cassiopeia felt this and gasped. She was just about to turn around and slap him when she realized whom he was.

"Hey, Erik." Erik clasped a sparkly diamond heart necklace around her neck. "Oh, it's gorgeous!" Cassiopeia Lilly (who shall now be called just Lilly because Cassiopeia takes a while to write, sorry) said as she admired the necklace.

"It's a symbol of our love." And then they started to make out.

Not even fifteen minutes later, someone walked in on them and interrupted the make out session. That someone was Erik for President. "Lilly! Erik! What are you doing?" They stopped kissing long enough to look at Erik for President. "How could you do this to me? How could you do this to us? How could you do this to our child?"

"Your child?" Lilly asked.

"Yes, our child!" Erik for President pointed to her over bloated stomach, clearly showing she was with child.

"This can't be true. Erik loves me, not you!"

"He loved me first and he still does!"

"No, he came up from behind me and put on this necklace. That means he loves me! Besides, who knows whom that baby's father could be. But it is not Erik's for sure."

"Erik is the only man I have ever been with!" The two girls turned to Erik and waited for him to say something.

"Uh, I have to go," he said slowly walking away.

"That's your baby, isn't it?" Lilly shouted at him. "How could you do this to me?"

"Do this to you? How could he do this to me! I'm the one who is having the baby!"

"Look," Erik said, just about ready to make his escape. "I love you both, but I have to go. We'll sort this out later." Erik exits the scene. Lilly and Erik for President glare at each other as more music plays and the screen fades to black.

SOPROL was walking casually down the sidewalk, admiring the beautiful weather. "The weather is so beautiful," she thought to herself. "It's such a nice day." She was busy whistling a jolly little tune.

SOPROL has just passed an alley when someone jumped out and grabbed her from behind. She screamed bloody murder until a hand covered her mouth. "Shut your mouth," a voice whispered harshly at her. SOPROL's eyes widened with fear. She knew that voice. And you will find out later because the music started to play and it went black, signaling that it was time for a new scene.

Erik had escaped from the drama with Lilly and Erik for President and went to his favorite café. He was sipping on coffee when someone sat down at his table. "Oh, hi, Christine." Christine smirked at him. There was something odd about Christine. She looked rather different. "Did you get a make over or something?"

"Sure, you could say that."

"That's cool. Do you want some coffee?"

After chatting over caffeinated beverages, Erik and Christine decided to go to the park so they could talk in the fresh air. As Erik got up from his chair, Christine tripped him. "Hey, what did you do that for?" Christine shrugged.

"Christine doesn't seem to be herself today," Erik said to himself. "It's like she has become." Dramatic paused. "Evil!"

"JoJo, what's wrong?" asked PhantomoftheBasket over a phone. A red phone!

"I'm at the hospital with Sing for Me. Dark-hearted rose just got in a car accident and she doesn't remember anything."

"Amnesia?"

"Yes."

"That sucks."

"Yes. Come down here now."

"I'll be right there." PhantomoftheBasket hung up the phone and dashed out the door to the hospital.

"Where is she? Where is dark-hearted rose?" she screamed at a man dressed in white.

"Uh, PhantomoftheBasket," JoJo said as she suddenly appeared.

"What?" she asked as she dramatically turned around.

"That's not a doctor. That's a patient and I believe he is dieing of cancer."

"Oh." PhantomoftheBasket twirled back to face the guy. "Sorry, I thought you were a doctor."

"I'm a doctor," another guy said.

"And how do we know that?"

"He has to be," JoJo said. "He has a heart listener thing but I currently forgot what it is called."

"Oh yeah, how could I be so blind? Now tell me where dark-hearted rose is! Tell me now!" she screamed as she shook the doctor roughly.

"Over there," he said pointing to a room. "Please, just don't kill me!"

"He's really weird," PhantomoftheBasket said to JoJo as they went to their friend's room. She was sitting up in bed, watching TV. Phantom of the Opera was on. Dark-hearted rose was concentrating very hard at the TV. Tears were beginning to spill from her eyes.

"Hey, dark-hearted rose, we're here," JoJo said. Dark-hearted rose looked over at them. She did not recognize them

"Who are you?" Everything began to get dark and the dramatic music began to play again.

SOPROL was lying on her bed, sobbing her eyes out. NeverAfter entered the room and say SOPROL crying. "What wrong?" NeverAfter asked gently.

"I-I was." She paused for dramatic ness. "I was attacked."

NeverAfter gasped. "By who?

"Raoul."

"When did this happen."

"I was just walking around and whistling to myself, not hurting anyone. Then he came out of no where and tried to kidnap me!"

"Did he do anything to you?"

"No."

"Good." NeverAfter could see that SOPROL was still very shaken up over this. "Don't worry, I shall avenge you. I have the perfect plan." She left the room to get the red telephone. She punched in a phone number and waited for the person to pick up.

"Hello, is Hailie there?"

"Christine, what is wrong with you?" Erik asked. He was soaking wet because Christine had just shoved him into the fountain. "Why are you so evil now."

"I am not Christine."

"Then who are you?"

"I am her evil twin, Evangeline Daee."

"Evangeline Lilly?"

"No! Daee you fool! And I was sent here to destroy you!"

"But, why would you do that? Don't you love me? Everyone loves me! You can't kill me!"

"I do love you," Evangeline Daee said. "That is why I have been tripping you and what not. It's because I don't want to kill you, but now I have to." She pulled out a forty-four. "I'm sorry. Goodbye Erik."

"No, don't!" Erik did the only thing he could think of to stop her. He lunged at her and kissed her. It worked; she was distracted from killing her.

It didn't really matter anyway. Erik was going to be killed one way or another. Just as he kissed Evangeline Daee, Lilly and Erik for President was walking towards them. They stopped momentarily but then began to run and full speed forward to kill him.

"You said you loved me!"

"You told me that too! And this is the second girl I've seen you with today! Is there anymore, Erik? Is there?" Sky began to weep.

"Now look what you did!" Evangeline Daee said as she and Cassiopeia Lilly comforted Erik for President. "Do you have no sensitivity towards woman?"

"Yes!"

"Then you wouldn't just get a girl pregnant and leave her."

"I-."

"I don't care if you've been away for so long and you just want some love. You don't do that! You have no right!"

"Yeah, Erik. You are such a jerk!"

"I didn't want her to cry," Erik said slowly. He felt awkward. Now he had three girls angry with him and it looks like may be working together now.

"Just shut up, Erik. Have you not done enough?"

"Can't I say something?"

"No!" Cassiopeia Lilly and Evangeline Daee screamed at him.

"But I-."

Erik for President's facial features twisted into a look of pain. "I think the baby is coming."

Dramatic music!

A blonde hair girl wearing short black shorts and a light blue tank top with a black kitty on it walked into the gym. She was on a mission, a mission to get revenge. After a moment of looking around, she saw her target. She walked over to him.

Raoul looked at the girl walking over to him. "Hey, I'm Raoul," he said.

"Hailie," said Hailie in a perky voice. She looked at Raoul who had covered himself with oil because he thought it would make him work out better. He also thought it looked very sexy on him.

After a few moments of talking, Hailie (using her vixen powers) had Raoul wrapped around her fingers. She took out a lighter from her penguin purse. "You smoke?"

"No," Hailie said. She lights the lighter and held it up to Raoul's long flowing hair. It started on fire and was burning quickly because he put most of the oil in his hair.

"No, not my long flowing hair! You crazy hoe! What was that for?" He tried to pat out the fire but it only made it spread through out the rest of his body.

"I was sent by NeverAfter. Revenge is a bitch, ain't it?"

"Dark-hearted rose, what's wrong?" JoJo asked.

"I don't know who they are!"

"Us? We're you're friends."

"Not you! I don't care about you! I want to know who they are!" She pointed up at the TV. "I can almost remember, but I still don't know. And I want to! I want to!"

"Ok," PhantomoftheBasket said calmly. She handed the amnesia girl a lollipop that doctors hand out. "It's going to be ok, you'll remember."

"Hey, I want one!" JoJo exclaimed. "Give me on!" PhantomoftheBasket was about to hand her one when they heard a lot of commotion going on outside the room. They left dark-hearted rose momentarily. She wouldn't notice anyways, she was too busy being entertained by the delectable lollipop.

"What's going on?" JoJo asked. People ran by. "Hey, don't we know them?"

"Yeah, and that's Erik for President in the wheelchair!"

"She looks pregnant. When did she get pregnant?"

"I don't know, but let's go see."

"Ewe, I don't want to see a baby be born! And what about dark-hearted rose?" They looked back in the room.

"I think she'll be alright," PhantomoftheBasket said. "Let's go!"

Just as they were heading off, more doctors flew by with a stretcher. "What happened to him?" a doctor asked.

"He was set on fire."

"How? Why?"

"He said it was some girl named Hailie."

"That bitch! She struck again!"

"My hair, my long beautiful flowing hair!" Raoul cried as he was rushed into a surgery room.

A couple of hours later, the baby was out and dark-hearted rose got her memory back. Apparently the sucker she was eating was magic and made her regain her memory. Who would have ever guessed?

"What are you going to name her?" PhantomoftheBasket asked. They had all gathered into the room.

Erik for President thought it over and took her time for a dramatic effect. She opened her mouth to say something when someone kicked open the door. Everyone turned his or her head to see whom it was. CeruleanRider stood in the doorway looking rather ticked off. Her hair was a mess too. "That is my baby and I want her back!"

"You're baby? No, this baby belongs to Erik for President."

"No, she was only faking her pregnancy so that Erik would fall for her. I was the one who was really pregnant." Cue dramatic music!

"Then who is the father?" Evangeline Daee asked.

"Erik." Everyone glared at Erik.

"I'm sorry," he said. They all shook their heads.

And I have to stop there so Moll Doll and finish this if it seems unfinished. Sorry it was not random or funny, but I have stuff to do. This was difficult for me because I had to keep it PG. So sorry again if I have disappointed you.

With Love,

CT

Beta Note: Hey everyone, it's phantomphan! So how's my little protégé do? I've trainder her well, huh? I'm totally proud of her. Now review or I'll have her write another chapter like this and she'll do something to you.

Coming Up Soon:

Megan's class. Lots of confusion over Erik's real name. COOKIES! Japan? See what all of this actually means next time on (dramatic announcer guy) PHANTOM ACADEMY!


	15. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I do not own Phantom of the Opera

A/N: So, how did CT do? Gotta love her… Anyway, so are you ready for my next chapter? Didn't think so…

Chapter 11:

"_No, she was only faking her pregnancy so that Erik would fall for her. I was the one who was really pregnant." _

"AHHHH!" Erik awoke from his dream, screaming. He looked around. Everything was normal. There were no fighting phan girls to be seen, no babies that could be his.

"Whew," Erik released a sigh of relief the plopped back and went back to sleep.

×**0**×**♥**×**0**×

Erik slipped through the door just as the bell rang. He had granted permission to Megan so she could teach a class on anime, and he was curious about the class.

"Okay, can someone come up and point out Japan?" she asked the class.

"Oh! I can!" Raoul cried. He ran up to the map at the front of the room and proudly pointed… to the wrong place.

"No, that's California," Megan told him patiently.

"But I thought this was California," he answered, pointing to another spot.

"No, that's Australia."

"But I thought this was Australia."

"No, that's Texas."

"Really?" Raoul asked, suddenly clad in a cowboy hat and boots.

"Yes, it really is Texas. I think I would know where Texas was since I, oh, I don't know, LIVE THERE!"

"Whatever," Raoul shrugged and walked back to his seat.

"Okay," Erik declared, exasperated, "I'm taking this class over!"

"Back off Edward!" Megan cried.

"It's ERIK!" all of the phan girls cried.

"Whatever…"

"So you like Japan?" Raoul asked Megan, innocently blinking.

"No duh, moron," she replied.

"Is this Japanese?" he asked, holding out a fortune cookie.

"No, that's Chinese," Elise replied.

"Actually," Megan corrected, "It's Californian."

"Is this Japanese?" Raoul asked, holding up a pizza.

"No, that's New York."

"But I thought it was Italian…" Raoul was confused.

"Then why did you say it was Japanese?"

Raoul shrugged and threw the "foreign object" behind him. Half of it landed on Erik's face, and the other half landed on his desk. Megan picked up a slice and began munching happily on it.

"Do you have any idea where that's been?" Jordan asked.

"Nope, and I don't care," Megan replied. "How are you passing your classes, Raoul?"

"Easy," and with that, he produced his report card.

"_You _got all A's?" Megan asked skeptically. Raoul nodded as Megan continued to examine the paper more closely. "Wait," she cried, "this is _my _report card. Where did you get it?"

"I didn't go through your sock drawer…" Raoul rocked on his heels.

Megan, being extremely creeped out, reached for the nearest punjab. Unfortunately, the nearest punjab was Erik's.

"Give that BACK!" Erik cried. "You're not fit to punjab the fop." After giving her a disgusted look, he stalked out of the room.

"Rude much, Edward?"

"It's ERIK!"

"Whatever," Megan flipped a strand of her short brown hair and grabbed Raoul's real report card from him.

"D F D C F F… A? How did you get an A in… home ec?"

"I like to bake," Raoul explained, pulling a tray of piping hot cookies from out of thin air, where everything in this story seems to come from.

Megan picked one up and, after examining it, took a bite. "Mmm… Sugar, my favorite."

"Really?" Raoul asked. "I had _noooo _idea."

"Stalker!" Megan cried, twirling around and running for the nearest exit- a freshly Windex-ed window. "Ouch!" she exclaimed after running into the window.

"Haha!" Erik laughed.

"Shut up, Edward!"

"It's ERIK!"

"Whatever, I don't really care," she replied rubbing her forehead and storming off.

"Now who will teach the anime course?" dark-hearted rose asked.

"I don't know," Erik answered. Which was okay, since at that moment, Christine walked in, wearing a surprisingly modern outfit.

"Whoa," Jordan cried, pointing, "you look like a tomboy, Christine!" Which was weird, since Christine had also appeared by Jordan's side. "Ah! There are TWO of you!" Jordan sobbed.

"No, silly," Christine- at least, someone who looked like Christine- said. "There's only one me. This is my cousin, Evangeline Daae."

"Wow!" Erik's eye practically popped out of his head when he saw her.

"Hey!" Christine slapped Erik upside the head. "Aren't you supposed to be in love with _me_?"

"Yeah, but _look _at her!"

"Hmph!" Christine stalked out of the room, leaving Erik alone with Evangeline and about fifty other phan girls.

Evangeline, feeling awkward, ran off after hoer cousin, leaving Erik alone with the fifty phan girls.

A/N: Erm, let's just leave out the next part, mmk?

More A/N: Okay, so it took FOREVER, and it's not really as much as I would have liked to write, but at least I have something, right?

Even more A/N: Next week (or next post, whenever that may be) on Phantom Academy:

Erik gets a make-over? Eek! That's going to be fun to write. Until then…


	16. The Phantom Convention: A Filler Chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own Phantom of the Opera. I do, however, own quite a deal of memorabilia.

A/N: I know I promised a makeover, but while I'm working on that one, I thought I'd post a filler chapter using my favorite Phantoms. So enjoy.

Filler Chapter Two:

Erik sighed happily, locking his office door behind him. Summer break couldn't have come at a better time. The big Phantom convention was coming up, and this was the first year he had been invited.

Whistling, Erik made his way down the hall to his room, swinging his Punjab jovially. His cheerfulness was instantly doused when he found the authoress perched on his dresser.

"What, may I inquire, do you want?" he asked, clearly irritated.

"You," the authoress began. "are taking me with you to the convention."

"What makes you think that?" Erik questioned, raising his only eyebrow.

"Because I'm the authoress, and I can make you do whatever I want."

"Hmm, you have a point there… All right, fine! But I'm leaving at 7:00 tomorrow morning and not a moment later. Be here with all of your things."

"Aye aye." And with that, she dematerialized.

"How _does _she do that?"

"I'M THE AUTHORESS! I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT!" her voice boomed.

×**0**×**♥**×**0**×

Once their things were loaded in the trunk of his car, Erik slammed the hood down.

"I want to drive," the authoress whined.

"Do you have your permit?" Erik asked, knowing fully well that she wouldn't.

"Yes, I do," she replied as it materialized in her hand.

"Darn it!" he murmured to himself.

"Think of it this way," she said, "You can spend the ride eating and composing."

"Fine," he grumbled, stalking off and getting in on the passenger's side of the car.

They had been driving for about twenty minutes when the authoress said, "Let's listen to some music."

"Okay." And Erik began to sing.

"Oh… nononononono… I _really _don't want you to wear your voice out. Let's listen to a CD instead, okay?"

"All right, but since you're driving, I get to pick." The authoress fixed him with a deadly stare. "Or we can listen to whatever you want."

She popped in a CD, and much to Erik's horror, "All I Ask of You" began playing.

"Change the song!" he cried, covering his ears.

"Oh, that won't help any. This CD is a mix of every version of "All I Ask of You" ever recorded, legally or illegally."

"Then put in a different one!"

"This is the only one I brought," she explained, barely concealing her evil grin while shoving her entire CD collection out of his sight.

×**0**×**♥**×**0**×

Erik stumbled from the car, still clearly in a daze (Well, what do you expect? He had been listening to the song he hated most for ten hours straight).

The authoress popped open the trunk and began pulling suitcases out.

"Hey, Erik, do you want to help?"

(No response)

"Erik, your mask fell off!"

"Oh, (insert a very… colorful word here)!"

"Oh, shut up and help me carry the bags."

Erik did so, very (un)graciously.

Once they were checking into their hotel rooms, they met back in the lobby to go to the convention (would you believe it was being held at night?).

Erik drove while the authoress slept in the back seat of the car. Once there, however, she instantly forgot that she was tired.

"Erik," she whispered, "do you realize that every Phantom ever created is here right now?"

"Yes, I do."

"That means somewhere I'll find Crawferik… Kerik…" She stopped when Hugh-Panaro Phantom walked past her.

A/N: Unfortunately, I don't remember much else from the convention. I guess I was far too busy following Hugh-Panaro Phantom and John-Cudia Phantom around and talking to Crawferik, Kerik, and David-Gaschen Phantom.

On the plus side, I MIGHT just post the makeover chapter soon…

Until then,

Your loving authoress, phantomphan1992


End file.
